20 Southeastern Virginia Jewish News March 14, 2003
Elijah isn't the only stranger to invite to the seder
By Mark L Rosen I still looked forward to going. It was wishing that such an innovation had still had a few hours to go. Reb Shlo- If you are inspired to invite t
NEWTON, Mass., (JTA) --
Passover is a holiday of remembrance,
a time to recall "and retell the story of
the deliverance of the Jewish people
from generatiorLs of Egyptian
bondage. But there is also a ditiLnent
kind of membering that takes place
ea Passover, in which memory is
, not scripted. We sponta-
neously recall, often vividly, the many
different setk we have attended over
the yea's, both as a child and as an
adult.
My own menses begin in the
early 1960s, when oar family went to
a seder or ritual Passover rneal each
year held at the Chicago home of my
Aunt Fella and Uncle Morris. Almost
ever), adult in anendance was fiom
Eastern EmW; boredom among the
children was rampant. My cousins and
1 would inevitably end up crawling
taw the table for a mischievous ren-
dezvous, a diswactkm from the relent-
less Yldish-accented mcitalion of The
Maxwell House . (Literally
Wanslated as the telling, the
recalls the Israelite Exodus from EgytX
and the rituals perfom,al at
seder:) Evena, our
was by my aunt's amazing
l,tssover delicacies. I n ever recall
what was going on, but
comfoamg and predictable-the same
relatives came each year and the same
food appeared on the table.
Because the seders I attended
growing up always had the same cast
of characters, it was an exciting break
from routine when someone unfamil-
iar showed up. One year my older
cousin brought a boyfriend, and it
noticeably changed the seder dynamic.
When I went away to college, it was
my mm to become the unfamiliar face
when I attended my first ,,eder with a
family other than my own. It was then
that I reaUy started to ap[xeciate what a
mitzvah or good deed it was to extend
invitations to strangers, especially
those unable to slend the holiday with
family. Since then, rve Ixn a guest at
many different sealers. It is still a com-
forting ritual for me, even though the
faces are new, the accents American
and the dishes different. But it is never
a predictable experience. While the
Haggadah is always the mad map,
each new seder takes diffent side
roads on which I never waveled.
It was a marvel the first time I
attended a sealer by Jewish
educala.
While the seder was lengthy,
everything was didst, explained
and analyzed. I acquired many new
insights and went home fervently
been introchaced to my Chicago rela-
tives.
seder, early in my career
as a "Seder Stranger"caught me by
surprise.
Still fully in possession of child-
hood naivete, I was taken aback when
I encountered non-Jews at the table,
friends of the host family, qheir ques-
tions reminded one of the simple child
of the Haggadah, and it ttaned outto
be a lovely experience to see ritual
through their eyes.
One year, my seder experience was
a disappointment. I call this one seder-
rite.
It was a peun-Xot7 matzah and
wine tasting accompanied by a riffling
of the Hagg',dah pages that figurative-
ly stirred a cool breeze but didn't warm
my lrt.
In a subsequent year, I was delight-
ed and entertained at a seder orches-
trated especially for children, with
wind-up frogs and finger puppets.
Perhaps the most memorable seder
I attended is the one I call, both wryly
and fondly, the last supper. It was led in
Manhatlan by Rabbi Shlomo Car-
lebach at his Upper West Side shul or
synagogue. Seventy of us from all
oyez the counny listened to stories and
sang wordless chants unlil three in the
morning. When I finally left, the seder
mo died the following fall. This seder
turned outto be the last one he led.
Drawing from my own enriching
experiences, I am now an enthusiastic
advocate of inviting slrangers to one's
, Sl"r.
Many fatuities do this routinely,
reaching out to welcome various cate-
gories of Jews as well as non-Jews.
Naomi Osher of Newton, Mass.,
recalls her parents having 20 to 30
people each year at their Cincinnati
home, a number of them Christians.
Her parents' born-again housekeeper
always looks forward to the tz/mmes, a
sweet carrot dish.
Fred Kahn of Buffalo Grove, Ill.,
remembers the time as a boy that his
mother called the HilM or Jewish Stu-
dent Union at Northwestem Universi-
ty to see if any students wanted to
come. On the night of the seder, seven
students from the dental school
showed up at the .door, causing the
family to scramble for seats and plates.
Rabbi Sheldon Ever and his wife,
Reva, before immigrating to
Jerusalem, made sure each year to
invite local widows and widowers
who had nowhere to go, drawing from
the large elderly population of their
Miami Beach neighborhood. On
occasion, attendance at their seders
was as high as 40.
sWanger or many, here are some
pie and places you might call to fro
guests:
Your rabbi, synagogue office, 0t]
synagogue located in a neighborla0t
that is no longer predominantly JeW"
ish, where remaining members
likely to be elderly:
• an assisted living center or geriat
home;
• the Hillel or Chabad House at y0t
local college or university; ,.
• chaplains at local hospitaLs or rr"
tary bases.
• Jewish community centers;
• food pantries, social service cg/"
zations and immigraon organi
tions;
• Reform or Conservative organi
tions that conduct classes f
verts; and
• organizations that provide inter"
free loans or tzedakah or charity t°.
the Jewish community.
Remember, by opening your
to others on Passover, you
of mga00hh li0000gy:
all who are hungry, come and eat.
all who are in need,come and shge
Passover meal:'
Mark 1. Rosen is the is the author
"Thank You for Being Such a Pain:
Guidance for Dealing
(Three Rivers Press). Reprinted from J
Family,:ore, a service of Jewish Family,
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