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August 15, 1980     Jewish News
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August 15, 1980

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JFS Helps C 00mmunity Cope With Problems .... f, The following group of"cases in point" is designed to detail just a posszble few ofh e s complications, stresses and tangled emotional dilemmas that the Jewish Family Service of Tidewater, Inc., is equipped to resolve with its staff of professionally trained, experienced and non-judgmental social workers: The Long Goodbye--Earlier than usual he turned to siy "good morning" to his wife, as he had done for years of mornings. She lay lifeless, Death had taken her during the night. What happens when one is not prepared for such a shattering event? Moreover, what happens when one is even denied the chance to say "goodbye" to one's best friend and life partner of a half-century? What Price Infidelity?--He was successful. He, his wife and three children lived very confortably. Their life and marriage appeared quite stable. He had had extra-marital affairs several times over the years. He needed that for his clf-image, his ego, he justified. But, his wife; that was a totally different story. How could she permit someone else to (*uch her? And the thought of her responding was simply too much! She, on the other hand, had begun to experience painful anxiety. Their marriage, she thought, had been good, but .... he offered divorce. She really didn't want one.. What to do? To whom to talk? Boredom--The most nagging problem they experience in their marriage is that there is no problem. She knows of no real justification for her passion for another man. Her marriage of six years had always been Comfortable. Her husband was thoughtful and hardworkini He W_ as a caring father to their two children who enjoyed his evenings with the paper and T.V. How to explain her deep resentment? Her life no longer held any possibility of excitement; everything was just so stale. She needed an injection of vitality in her life. Could her desires and unmet expectations be fulfilled? What about her commitment to her husband, to her marriage and its lifelong implications of devotion to her children? And what was it she wanted for herself?. She needed someone with whom she could discuss options, guilt, responsibility and feelings. t The Scond-Time-Around Marriage--The marriage with its potential for "remarri- age blues": Was another wrong decision made? Are the children going to adjust to him/her? How best to handle the residual love/hate still felt for the former spouse? Will the new marriage be affected by lingering doubts and recriminations? Mothers and Their Children--She intensely disliked school, didn't mind being left out of the things other kids enjoyed so much, like football games, dating and parties, Until she attended that one special, fateful party. Now, a totally unexpected teenage pregnancy. What to Do? With whom to review and shape approaches. The Stress of The Working Mother--The job she had wanted so much, needed so rauch--she thought--to establish her self-identity was now ruining everything. Life wasn't fun anymorel The job demanded, commanded, her attention totally and exclusively. Exhaustion, physical and emotional, had begun to consume her. Franklin City Schools, as well as a training She could .no longer establish meaningful contact with her children, much less instructor with Old Dominion University's aanage or control them. Her husband was very noticeably slipping away, losing interest-- Institute of Educational Research. As Executive Director, Halley will con- not only with her but the entire marital structure, suit with Rabbi Shaya Sackett, the Director She needed, she concluded, an opportunity to express herself to someone who could Understand what was happening, to discover a support system which would provide a of Hebrew Studies and Judaica, and Mrs. transition period during which the family bonds could be strengthened. Wanda Singletary, Director of Secular Studies, and assist in the coordination of Teenage Confusion--The years of confusion, fuzzy dreams, never-ending questions; of the total scope of educational programs anger and rebellion, of love and awe, of happiness and despair: The teenage years when {Continued on page 5) raind a body grope to meet- This is the time when the world appears vast and perplexing and the teenager is not certain of a place in it. Auust 15, 1980-- UJF--3 Mom and Dad lose their "perfect" status Their standards and methods are questioned and no longer honored perfunctorily. The teenager is caught up in his own maturing process, going through the developmental stages; dreaded and misunderstood by parents, ignored by society, alone in the darkness of uncertainty. The teenager often needs a counseling source attuned to this stage in life's.process,. one that respects the enormity of the confusion for the young person and the fears created for concerned parents. The hypothetical scenarios sketched above are just that: fictionalized vignettes created to dramatize a mere sampling of the various cases handled by the Jewish Family Service. Any resemblance to actual cases is purely and totally coincidental. The JFS clinical social worker, in realiW, assists or facilitates the individual--or couple or family--in expressing disturbing feelings or anxieties in a safe, comfortable and completely confidential atmosphere: C -(Continued on page 4) ( HAT Creates New Position In order to facilitate the further progress of the Hebrew Academy of Tidewater, the Board of Directors has restructured the school's administration and created the position of Executive Director, which will be charged with operating the school ad- ministratively in consultation with its of. ricers and committees The candidate annointed bv the Board of Directors as the school's first Executive Director is Stephen C. Halley, a native VirginiarL Halley holds a Bachelor of Science in Educational Administration and supervision from Old Dominion University. He is a certified teacher and administrator in the Commonwealth of Virgini Halley has taught and administered bi-cultural, bi- lingual educational programs onthe Navajo Reservation in Arizona and served as prin- cipal of an elementary school in American Samoa in the SOuth Pacific. He has been most recently an educational consultant for It Pays To [ ALTER LAIAB2:AIN' M" D' ''1 Advertise... I M.O. I I In The I ...oo.. ! I D,v,o I , , | Office Hours: Telephone: I  .tme.t (so4) 420-s297 TIDEWATER'S 10LDS DEALER iNVITES YOU COME BY FOR A TEST DRIVE IN A BEAUTIFUL NEW 1980 OLDSMOBILE Ill. i. 8AJ[E/R*S Buddy Hoffman V. C. Baker Monday thru Friday ilu imce Imee/ml00eq II ememw 424-5670 Hours: 8:30 a.m. ti19 p.m. Mon. - Fri. - Slit. 8:30 to 6 p.m. ..... : ii I i : Steve Halley I I Did your broker offer you a dlsommmt on your last trade? We did. At Broken Exchange our standanl featu is unspeakable at most firms, discount com- mission rates But thal's all we'll disc-oura. Unlike most discount firms, we offer re- seanch infomion as well as cument maP- lint comments, we hmm a relmble back, and handle investment aenAcm lhat are a sociated with rtqlly known brocqp firms mmrsin Olgmns. bond and money market funds, etc.) How much can ,u save in comm with 8mken Exchare? ec lodn$ atpur sury ( rates ch hy area f.r on lin oder, .you te II us MernU Lvm-h Slll&l $1&l I1.74 E F HultOn 1141 IILO0 Z87 he 1103,5 lll 75 288.00 Pam, e t]bb lot O0 1 ?$ $0 274,0 Quwk & Idl 64/,3 107 37 167 ee Nk,eeuru, ISzc'henge 1,4a N.O0 UII Commllon  ne tle n tom oncn their we be  reJude b m4ke no lqetal It, to accuracy Or comt Mn|mum for ocJu MS ae ifyou  iodine8 for a full ,vio bmlmm relaone.p g a mbm Mq ll m a call Well rush you our free services bihun, n.v." account apphc,ltiOlZ and discount oonnnmsion schBlule so ttmt ypu Can staa en,ym the  both wodd On your xt trad adt yo  lur a dmcount .Then c[i m. Phon 622-4444 L ..........................  i UI H